Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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