I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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