i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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