if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
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You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
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Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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