I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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