i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
