His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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