so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize