I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
