I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
