even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
How external is "for external use only"?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
