it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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