I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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