honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets