As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
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I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
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scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.