Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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