Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.

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(727): View more from Florida

I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am

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(573): View more from Missouri

just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks

(1-573): View more from Missouri

the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..

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(312): View more from Illinois

Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.

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(816): View more from Missouri

So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.

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(469): View more from Texas

Oh. So it is a cult

(702): View more from Nevada

Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.

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