ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Enjoy the penises
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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