dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
