I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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