Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
