Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
