I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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