I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
