My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
