Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
