You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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