you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
