Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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