i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
