do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
