we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
