i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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