Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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