I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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