I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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