wrigley field is MILF paradise
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
