i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
