another moral hangover. fuck.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This is classic penis vs brain.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
