Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
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The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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