But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize