I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
