You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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