whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
