How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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