9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize