Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
