My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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