She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
