dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My ATM looks so different sober.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I need moral support for this bender
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Randomize
