i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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