It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
