Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I want her autograph on my taint
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
