You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
