remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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