do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
