just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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