the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
