I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Couch. On fire.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
