She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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