2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
