Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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