i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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