And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
