What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
