Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
