HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
