I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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