Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
