where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
