he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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